What's Your Why?

Especially at a time when there are so many opportunities to engage in allyship, knowing why we are showing up in the first place is a critical foundation to keep us grounded every subsequent step of the way. A missing ingredient of equity and inclusion work is often alignment on intentionality. Exploring intentionality is critical when it comes to setting a proper foundation for equity work and allyship.

What gets and keeps you going? There are all sorts of experts in motivation, and perspectives on how we move through the process of deciding what to do. To begin understanding your why, explore and identify a theory of motivation you are operating from. Whether doing so as a parent, a business owner (or both), linking the mechanics of why we are drawn to taking action is a critical step in getting focused.

Once there is clarity on your purpose (what you will do and why) use a framework for decision making. Especially in allyship, staying the course can become challenging as factors around us change that impact past and future decisions. By using a decision matrix, we allow ourselves the time to process and stay aligned with our intentions when implementing a new change.

Finally, we have to push ourselves towards continuous improvement. A visual accountability board can capture our “why,” the major areas we want to impact, and how we’re doing, all right in front of us. Complacency is the antagonist of change, and a way to avoid slowing down or settling is to track our progress visually and ideally publicly too.

Exploring your intentions as a disciplined step towards arriving at your purpose ensures you are clear and focused. From there, using tools to keep you aligned with your original intentions is key. The whole point is making a difference, so keep track of how you’re doing so you’ll always have your finger on the pulse of what’s next.

Call to Action

• Reimagine your plan through the lens of a motivation framework.

• Redefine your path by utilizing a decision making matrix.

• Reinvigorate your goals by using an accountability board.

Get Real

Community groups and organizations of all sizes have many responsibilities and challenges to manage successfully. Amidst all of the demands, equity in the workplace is becoming more of an expectation for employees of all backgrounds. That said, most employers don’t have an established track record in the area, resulting in reactive decisions and short-lived initiatives. One way to make our good intentions stick, is to get real about what we are doing in the first place.

Be very clear from the beginning about who equity efforts are intended to impact. Who is benefitting from the moves being made? A warning sign that only surface level efforts are taking place is when changes are fast and easy to implement. Though there are quick wins to be had, equity is a long-term commitment. Performative allyship doesn’t impact significant change, because it’s simply about making the performer look better, rather than making actually become better.

Leadership must have a shared understanding of the influence of power in the workplace. Though treated like an invisible afterthought, the patterns of who gets what uphold systems that can be for the better, or for worse. In addition, leaders must be willing to make necessary shifts. Projects, assignments, accolades nor promotions should be limited to a small or elite group only. Dynamics of decisions and transparency of information must be accessible to everyone.

Arguably the most critical is accountability. Start by reviewing what is being measured. Is there a goal everyone is working towards? If not, identify what social problem you aim to solve, and how your workplace can make contributions to the solution. Once a goal is set, if you really want to make an impact set the bar high. Create a culture of support by holding each other accountable through open and direct communication.

Making spaces we occupy more equitable is more than a trend. In order to make a difference, you have to get real. Know what you want to change, and why. Know who is impacted and how. Finally know where you will make changes, and when you plan to make your milestone. Without a deep understanding of those things we risk creating a facade of something better, instead of something real.

 Call to action

• Be prepared to fail forward, undoing inequity is hard work and that’s ok.

• Identify why you are making changes, so you have a guiding star.

• Make every action about doing better, not simply looking better.

Know Your Role

As allies get deeper into the work, many are finding themselves in a challenging position. With so many resources, thought leaders, and perspectives, it can be tough to decide what path to choose. Making matters more complicated there are experts who suggest we leverage privilege and power, while others encourage us to amplify marginalized voices. When it feels like allies are asked to speak up and listen simultaneously in both personal and professional life, how do you make the right move?

A critical factor to consider first is, why? Why do you want to act, and what do you hope to accomplish by doing so? By thoroughly exploring intentions, we can better position ourselves to make the biggest impact in areas we want to influence. In addition, by gaining a solid understanding of our intentions we can also avoid unintentionally adding to the static by creating excess noise that isn’t tied to substance.

The next factor to explore are established experts in the space. Let’s say you find yourself in the position of needing to fix a norm in a work or social group. Before you dive right in with your own talking points to tackle the issue, note first: is anyone speaking up who is more knowledgeable on the topic? Are there subject matter experts, including folks with lived experience who are better equipped to lead the way? If so, take a support role to introduce the voices of experts into your circle.

On the flipside, if you find there is radio silence on a topic no one is addressing: call it out! Naming and framing issues directly can help get the ball rolling towards creative solutions. Doing this helps to avoid the dreaded revolving door conversations that rarely result in meaningful change. Even when uncomfortable, bring issues to everyone’s top of mind in a way that directs dialogue towards action and accountability.

It can be challenging to act in confidence when the advice available to allies is coming from all angles, tons of different perspectives, and sometimes even contradicting opinions. The thing of it is, equity is about people and the complex systems we exist within. Each group we are a part of has its own unique perspectives, so to avoid harmful cycles we must learn to navigate different climates to find nuanced solutions that work for everyone.

Call to action

• Be aware of who is benefitting from a conversation, decision, or initiative.

• Build your network on a regular and consistent basis so it will be easy to identify experts who can contribute to your journey when you need one.

• Take note of challenges and barriers that are being talked around instead of solved, and be willing to address them directly.

Embracing The Inevitable

Is there a time you wanted to get better at something, tried for a while, but eventually progress sputtered out? This pattern of behavior is no different when it comes to allyship. When something breaks in front of us, we often search to find immediate fixes for the problem. But in the case of equity and inclusion, there is no checklist or short cut that can piece together all the gaps. Removing barriers can be complex and time consuming, which requires a different mindset than achieving “quick wins.”

A common pitfall allies stumble into, is underestimating the dedication it takes to think and act differently than they’ve been socialized. Similar to lowering cholesterol, learning a foreign language, or playing a new instrument, activating allyship is a long-term lifestyle change requiring on-going commitment and nurturing. If you stop working at it your progress will eventually slip away, and for that reason allyship often cycles. To avoid short spurts of action, continuously acknowledge allyship as the significant behavior altering goal it is.

Another challenge to staying the course, is being prepared for burnout. Though on the surface inclusion is fluffy, once you start to tug the string of truth, waves of emotions often result in overwhelm. To prepare for those strong reactions, go into allyship open to the notion that equity work requires vulnerability, discomfort and questioning our perception. Doing the right thing is rarely the most convenient, so above all, take time to address how to maintain allyship and self-care simultaneously.

Accountability, the secret ingredient to sustaining nearly anything, needs foresight and attention too. The degree to which one dismantles social injustice is essentially up to them, and them alone. Yet at the same time, an effective ally challenges everyone around them to a higher degree of social responsibility. To help folks be accountable to that raised bar, we must be accountable to it first. To do so, we have to be willing to keep score on ourselves, be honest about it, and find ways to ally even when no one is watching.

There are many challenges that can hinder equity and inclusion work, but if acknowledged and planned for, they can be speed bumps instead of roadblocks. By embracing the inevitable you can defy the primary reasons allyship gets halted in its tracks and carry on connecting and building community one conversation at a time.

Call to action

• Make allyship a habit instead of a hobby by finding a way to roll action into your everyday.

• Ensure you are using true self-care methods such as meditation, journaling or other ways to help you remain centered.

• Make a milestone schedule for your goals. Though allyship isn’t a perfect science, if it doesn’t stay top of mind, you won’t improve.

Don’t Take it personal

By now you have certainly heard the words, “white privilege” and if you are like many, associated the phrase with socioeconomic status. Though it makes sense to make the assumption in a capitalist country where wealth gaps are astronomical, white privilege is actually more about being within the beneficiary group of oppressive systems that disproportionately have a negative impact on BIPOC and our communities. More specifically, it’s pointing out the ways policies of systemic oppression intended to benefit white folks are actively still working.

The tricky thing about systemic oppression is that it is so vast, it’s hard to know where to look first. Similar to standing on the edge of the ocean and struggling to find where the water ends and the sky begins, oppression tied to white supremacist ideology has trickled into everything we do from employment to voting since the founding of our country. Because that ideology has influenced our governing dating back to day one, we have to expand our imagination past what we’ve always known in order to begin to conceptualize institutions and systems which result in true liberty and justice for all.

It’s important to note that different from individual white supremacist acts of hatred, systemic oppression hides in plain sight until each law or policy slowly drifts into the “this is just always how we’ve done things” pile. Eventually we see statistics about how specific groups have fallen behind in areas such as education or wealth, and if enough time has passed we begin to make assumptions for patterns of short comings rather than seek to find previous decisions that still impact folks today.

As heavy as all that sounds, there is a red, white and blue coated silver lining: we can make it better. The term white privilege is used to point out where the system of white supremacist policy is working. Essentially, white privilege is a by-product of white supremacy. To admit a person benefits from white privilege is simply acknowledging a decades long paper trail of discriminatory policies exists. The goal of using the phrase is not to cast individual shame or blame, but rather to evoke acknowledgement and action for change.

It can’t be said enough that white privilege does not mean individuals do not face hardship or trauma, but instead the specific racial group is not systemically and intentionally disadvantaged based on their skin color alone. Rather than get caught up in uncomfortable phrases, the real work lies in using our collective power to disrupt white supremacist ideology and make advancements in our country that are long overdue.

What’s Next

• Dive deeper: Pick an area you know a lot about, then learn more about policies governing that area and how they impact different groups of people.

• Plug in: Once you begin to learn more about policies, if you discover areas that aren’t working search the ways you can advocate for change.

• Spread knowledge: Educate others each time you uncover something new. One of the most effective ways to ally is spreading factual information.

Numbers Aren't Enough

How many times have you heard someone say, “By the year 2045, the minority will be white” suggesting an increase in the BIPOC population would have an automatic impact on social norms? The truth is, it’s not that easy.  In fact, often times an increase in population of minority communities results in less access.

 At a glance, adding more voices seems it would do the trick when it comes to equity. After all we’ve all been told since forever there’s “strength in numbers” and “majority rules.” But if we dig a little and compare historically marginalized groups, numbers simply don’t make a meaningful difference. For example, about half of the world’s population are women, yet women still lag in leadership roles globally.

 It’s never been about headcount, it’s always been about power. Power correlates with rights, and in many ways they are one and the same. The less power you have, the less your humanity is recognized resulting in a need to fight or stand up for your rights.  On the contrary, the more power you have, the more likely your rights are honored and therefore effortless to preserve. To illustrate this point, 1 in 4 American’s have disabilities, though we see mediocre compliance with the ADA passed 30 years ago this June to prohibit discrimination against people with disabilities.

 In a time where inequities are more apparent than ever, it is everyone’s responsibility to cue into areas that are imbalanced so we can create a more just society for all. This would look like equal advantages and opportunities accessible to everyone, rather than systemic disparities impacting marginalized communities from the classroom to the courtroom.  

 In order to stay active as allies, we have to ensure we are vigilant in our awareness of how social constructs and systems are constantly at play around us. The nuances of new concepts can feel overwhelming at times, and it is okay to feel that too. What is most important is to continue to find ways to stay cognizant and make conscious decisions with the continued knowledge we acquire.

What’s Next?

• In the spaces you occupy, pay close attention to your social status. Especially when you are representing a majority group.

• Explore how you can leverage your power to challenge the status quo, then commit to doing so on a consistent basis.

• Set goals for yourself to confront complacency, and connect with someone who will help hold you accountable to your plan.  

Talk Isn't Cheap

Have you ever felt unprepared to talk with kids about topics like race, class, disability or religion? You are not alone. In a recent study of more than 6,000 families, only 10% of parents reported speaking to their children often about race, and even less about socio-economic class. Talking about identities and variances of lived experience early and often is critical, as kids start to make associations and develop curiosities based on differences as early as age three.

Portrayals of minority groups as villains or criminals, paired with over demonstration of folks from majority groups in heroic or leadership roles is just the beginning when it comes to representation. Media coverage sensationalizes crimes involving minority groups, and stereotypical depictions of historically marginalized cultures are commonplace. Kids are consistently exposed to all kinds of misrepresentations, but often are not supported by adults in their cognitive processing of such imagery.

When external factors begin to seep into our mind and influence our thoughts, we start to dance with bias. Often due to lack of information, bias is our brain’s way of making sense of what we are exposed to. Especially with children, bias can be particularly influential on behavior because the area of our brain that helps to decipher information and solve problems called the frontal lobe is not fully formed until age 25.

As parents we often think about the legacy we want to leave our kids, and the best parts of ourselves we can instill in them. The truth is if we are not intentional, they will inherit our socialized norms too. Problematic beliefs can be directly passed on through interaction with our families, or the lack thereof. This is good news because it means we can make changes within our control, and end that cycle.

It is human nature to be nervous about trying something new, especially if it’s taboo. When it comes to talking about diversity, it’s simple: more is better than none. Intentional is always better than coincidental, and practice makes a difference. Teaching our kids not to fear unfamiliarity by empowering them with tools to navigate a lifetime of differences is the best gift of all.

What’s Next?

• Have several toys and books about all different walks of life, especially if you don’t have the luxury of real-life representation in specific areas.

• Watch movies portraying characters from different backgrounds, made by people from those different backgrounds.

• Attend events in the community celebrating the beauty of different cultures and heritage. Then talk about what you learned.

• And most important of all, ask questions and then listen. By listening we create space for on-going conversations, especially when the topics are tough.