Have you ever felt unprepared to talk with kids about topics like race, class, disability or religion? You are not alone. In a recent study of more than 6,000 families, only 10% of parents reported speaking to their children often about race, and even less about socio-economic class. Talking about identities and variances of lived experience early and often is critical, as kids start to make associations and develop curiosities based on differences as early as age three.
Portrayals of minority groups as villains or criminals, paired with over demonstration of folks from majority groups in heroic or leadership roles is just the beginning when it comes to representation. Media coverage sensationalizes crimes involving minority groups, and stereotypical depictions of historically marginalized cultures are commonplace. Kids are consistently exposed to all kinds of misrepresentations, but often are not supported by adults in their cognitive processing of such imagery.
When external factors begin to seep into our mind and influence our thoughts, we start to dance with bias. Often due to lack of information, bias is our brain’s way of making sense of what we are exposed to. Especially with children, bias can be particularly influential on behavior because the area of our brain that helps to decipher information and solve problems called the frontal lobe is not fully formed until age 25.
As parents we often think about the legacy we want to leave our kids, and the best parts of ourselves we can instill in them. The truth is if we are not intentional, they will inherit our socialized norms too. Problematic beliefs can be directly passed on through interaction with our families, or the lack thereof. This is good news because it means we can make changes within our control, and end that cycle.
It is human nature to be nervous about trying something new, especially if it’s taboo. When it comes to talking about diversity, it’s simple: more is better than none. Intentional is always better than coincidental, and practice makes a difference. Teaching our kids not to fear unfamiliarity by empowering them with tools to navigate a lifetime of differences is the best gift of all.
What’s Next?
Have several toys and books about all different walks of life, especially if you don’t have the luxury of real-life representation in specific areas.
Watch movies portraying characters from different backgrounds, made by people from those different backgrounds.
Attend events in the community celebrating the beauty of different cultures and heritage. Then talk about what you learned.
And most important of all, ask questions and then listen. By listening we create space for on-going conversations, especially when the topics are tough.